I have absolutely no idea what is now going on around here. No point in this post. Probably deleting it soon. For the second time. |
To get in the right mood listen to him : Ben Howard - Promise ( Play the song at least 50 times in a row while reading this. ) (Then start again) You can use my YouTube playlist for my alternating-songs-to-repeat-until-you-are-so-beautifully-filled-with-them-that-you-wake-up-filled-with-them-,-and-you-go-to-sleep-with-them-everything-else-wiped-clean-from-your-head-and-heart-except-the-one-and-only-one-you-need-to-keep-forever-and-that's-how-you-will-become-aware-you-do - if the list is still up with this Ben Howard's song and i am not already wiping my soul clean with another beautiful song : Repeat - Love, Similia ❤ 1 video 16 näyttökertaa Päivitetty 3 päivää sitten Earlier this morning when i was publishing another post, which was the official post of today [ manif-estot-on ] , something strange occurred : that official post got published twice, and when i was immediately correcting this by deleting, or trying to delete, the extra double post, i donno what the heck happened, but it was not it anymore, but it was another full of these !? my photos ?! from some previously deleted ancient posts from 2016 and 2017. Well yes w o w, you can say that again. W h a t is happening ? ? ? So of course i tried to see the relevance. How often do you get such a directly pointed and underlined mark from The Universe ? " NOW PAY ATTENTION MY DARLING ❤TiiNA❤ ! " A ready collection of my own old photographs and writings, metadata included and all, given to me suddenly for free as a Facebook's automatic Remembering The Highlights of Your Year -horrorvideo : you did all this lame shit for a whole year, now shall we share it ? Again ? This is about some kind of a reminiscing and getting clarity. I am offered a chance to do a thing like this. So - this must be of some importance. But what ! What is it ? Is there some connection to what i had written ? Between these photos ? What am i supposed to notice here now. What can be the smallest mutual indicator ? OUKAY. - A challenge - ! Let's find out and have an adventure to TiiNA's not so recent past and dig deep in the bottom of this ... Well firstly - on top of Universe's compilation there was this shiny sunny photo from May 2017.
... and the whole post with this image got deleted pretty soon after its publishing date because i started to think it was not clear enough. Meaning that i thought the optic illusion in the said photograph was not obvious enough. Meaning ... well, i was in love (bad romance -kind of in-love) (am not saying i'd not still be) and it started to bug me that this heart shape here is too obvious but not too obvious, if you get what i mean ? Maybe you don't and that's why i deleted the whole post. But what on earth does all that have to do with this next one ? Universe had put this image as the next one in the mystery extra post. I had taken this photo a few weeks earlier than that red heart face shape thingy one up there, and at the time art & photo © 2017 Tiina Hölli 2017-05-09 09:12 i was as impressed by the spring light of May 2017 as i usually am each spring, and it seems that i was already interested in face shaped phenomenons in the nature, oh look how funny is that sneaky cloudman escaping something ? haha and the penis shaped trees bending blowing in the wind ? haha and oh how s w e e t ! i even wrote a little something about this light : I am charmed by the Aesthetics of these changing views. This has been an unexpected pleasure. The calm slowness of the descending snowflakes combined with the intransigent light of spring. I look at the changing weather and the photos I've taken these days. I am glad. Can you see the figures and faces in the clouds ? This is half of the original image. In the whole image there is yet another figure in profile on the left, blowing a separate little cloud towards these three guys. What about the cute bear face in the rock ? Did you see it ? This post called intransigent light of spring was originally written and published in A I R B O R N E by © 2017 Tiina Hölli on Tuesday 09.05.2017 22:00 and it got pretty quickly deleted because i thought after only a short while that boy am i really this icky ? yikes ... Firstly, the photo is not clear enough as an image as such, and the writing is ... i mean, "cute bear face" ... ? And i remember it also had started to annoy me that i hadn't published (couldn't publish) the whole image so why am i even mentioning it there then ? Gonner. For some reason, surprisingly we will next jump to ... 2016 ... and what do we have here then. Well again i must have done now something much too romantic ? and much too mushy sentimental ? for my taste i was thinking there back in July 2016 because i had named this photograph "The Morning Has Broken" from Cat Stevens obviously -- i had been up early in the morning and photographing the morning mist on the crop, and of course clearly that song has some hidden deeper relevance to me in a romantic sense (of course) - to whom teenager living in the 1970's wouldn't it have romantic connotations ? - and i had recently relived some of those dreamy song love sequences and it was all still in me in the misty mountain mornings - - so now i had to make some fun of it to make the message a little blurry so nobody would understand that i was so helplessly in-love (still that same bad romance -kind of in-love) so i called the image The Morning Has Broken 2016-07-18 04:51| art & photo by © 2016 Tiina Hölli but changed "crop" to "crap" to get a little of my usual sturdy but light as a feather posture back to me so the post cut the crap was originally written & published in A I R B O R N E by © 2016 Tiina Hölli 2016-07-19. ( Maybe i went a little too far with the post title, because this is one of the most frequently clicked posts of mine ... ) sooo ... ... am i beginning to get some hunch already of what this is about ? could be ... that am just a little too controversial personality ? ... talking about love but hiding my love thingies ? Who am i trying to protect there ? " ... who am I, darling to you ? Who am I ? " Ben Howard - Promise [ Who is in my life that much fragile that cannot cope with reality ? Whose reality ? Is it me and my reality ? Or with my realities ? Am i really the one who has to diminish my life in order to keep up some other weak persons' life lies elsewhere ? Did i not arrange my life beautifully anew, time after time, after a divorce and a move and losing a studio, and did i see them helping me here ? Any of them ? Where was their diminishing themselves then ? So why the fuck should i feel empathetic for these people, and always be the one expected to compromise, no matter if i am doing okay or not, it is always me to be reasonable and understanding ? with some of these more fortunate persons who did not give a fuck about my problems when i needed support ? Why this hiding myself ? For what purpose is it ? How could it be of my benefit ? Why the hell am i supposedly responsible for other persons' inability to deal with his/her/their facts & feelings ? Why should i make myself weaker in order to make someone else seem stronger ? Why is this my concern even ? Grow stronger people on your own where do you need me to grow weaker ? WRONG PEOPLE ! Do i not own my own feelings only and indeed own only my own feelings ? ! ? oh shoot i am so tired of this where oh where are MY people ? my people my equal my people ? ] " ... who am I, darling to you ? Who am I ? " Ben Howard - Promise Why am i trying to deal with this so profoundly and holding it ON ITS EACH CORNER carefully understanding all of it as if it were my problem ? iT IS NOT MY PROBLEM ! It is totally someone else's problem ! Why am i taking it to me as my problem ? Why am i so much joking about this and humorously facing the issue referring to my situations as a "bad romance" when it was nothing of a sort ? nothing of that sort at all ! ( okay neither is the song about a bad romance, maybe you'd better listen to it yourself : ) ( btw, if no one clicks that link above e v e r it means that no one reads this post e v e r ) ( and stats are illusionary botmade junk ) WTF ? 2016-07-19 [ cut the crap ] The next deleted post that Universe threw at me did not have any image. So this was now a very direct message. Then and now to me. The only content of this post was my first idea how to solve the whole stupid situation from getting far too complex (for me in my own free airspace A I R B O R N E to update my old posts etc. because i do it all the time btw i must be the most obsessive perfectionist that has been born in the shape of an international supertramping adventurer what says ? ) : i posted a notification of having now made the official A I R B O R N E Directory & Archives - first decided to do it as an ordinary post, then i posted as an advertisement sort of, of a directory that i had made to a separate page elsewhere : A I R B O R N E Directory was originally started and published by © 2016 Tiina Hölli on Saturday 26.11.2016 20:22 - A I R B O R N E Archives was added and published by © 2016 Tiina Hölli on Monday 24.04.2017 20:22 well am I neat or not. - and then i deleted this notification post as useless and kept only the clarifying directory site notification in the sidebar, look --->> ... so it seems i am (sometimes) a precise woman with some principles and i am even living up to my own standards. Fine. I feel better about myself now after getting this clarified. Maybe am sometimes a little quick to get fiery and do unpredictable moves (and then fix them and create something beautiful and new) but hey. Some people think it's sexy. Some people judge me by the first reading and will never realize there's more. So what do we have here next ? of interest : tofubiogas & Tanera Mòr was originally written and published in A I R B O R N E by © 2016 Tiina Hölli on Friday 04.11.2016 23:45. oh i remember this one - nice [ of interest : KODA, tofubiogas & Tanera Mòr ] oooh - this Universe-given must have been the first version of a later published paradise island story with a full plan to get a peaceful moderate livelyhood for the next 20 years or so for a little independent free modest silence loving zen artist or two ? " ... who am I, darling to you ? Who am I ? " Ben Howard - Promise " Now all I need is $2.3 million. And a biogas-helicopter. " Okay. Got it. I think i understood. Thank you Universe, you have a point. And finally, to prove to myself that not only sometimes but indeed always even i do have a point, perhaps first too blurry from myself, perhaps a little difficult to grasp especially as i tend to modify and edit these posts so much after the first publishing ... but again that's me way to deal with it all. I attach the google interpretation of the part 1 of my chronologically next-in-line -post (My Official Great Manifesto -post) of this same beautiful day 13.12.2017 (scroll up ... or optionally try this - or you can also click this [ manif-estot-on ] - i mean it's totally up to you what you decide to do but ain't it just great to have lots of choises ( as if it would be a true choise if you just get to choose the color of the wallpaper but not the house ) (OR THE COUNTRY). i cannot emphasize any stronger than this (actually i can but i will now stop at this level) how amazed i often am at google's abilities to get my point better than i do myself, here's what google claims now i said : ------------- google -translation, scrambled eggs ... : ------------- ------------- google -käännös, otteita ... : -------------
------------- : ... google -käännös, otteita ------------- ------------- : ... google -translation, scrambled eggs ------------- Notice how only one sentence had remained intact through the google treatment ? I am an idiot. Okay ... Got it I think i think it's pure poetry " ... who am I, darling to you ? Who am I ? " Ben Howard - Promise " ... and maybe, just maybe I come home " i think it's pure poetry that's all Reading now once again : C.G. Jung : Antwort auf Hiob (1952) | Job saa vastauksen (1974) 2018-04-20 piirros/pv 8118 - 81118 - 102 - 103 Universe made me post these - again originally written and published in A I R B O R N E by © 2017 Tiina Hölli 13.12.2017 08:20 |