It is repeatedly said here in Finland especially by all the well off always right being people that there is lots and lots and lots of undone work to be done - just you look around !
Well - this is a fact of course. So I looked. And what do you know !
I have an excellent job offer at my hands, now seeking for a salary payer.
I am offered a very fine position to become The Chief Editor of The Literary Department of an International Emerging Company. The owner is a remarkable figure, and has vast experience of his field for the past 42 years : he has The Solution To Save The Humanity. It is time to tell the others about this in a stylish and discreet fashion. This is my area of expertise, as you have already seen for example here in A I R B O R N E. So far, for years, he has been tooting his horn all over the place and spreading his theories for free, but nobody understands because of him phrasing in his unique poetic form coming directly to him from The Absolute Side. My style is of course in my own way as unique as his, but together we are totally Universal.
I have a rare gift : I can interpret this Absolute Side language to English, and I have honed this skill focused on it for 3 years now, without a monthly salary. He cannot hire me to do this job that only I can do, because nobody pays him, because nobody understands him. So there I come in the picture, and You are following just behind me.
You are an essential part of this plan to employ me. I think You already realized long ago that this is an opportunity for us, You and me, that we just cannot miss, so I am wondering what are You waiting for ? Are You okay ...? As for my part, I am more than okay with this, and I have been aiming for 3 years to get this job very eagerly, but little by little it is coming to this : at the moment I may not be able to focus on my special interpretation and editing skills maintaining much longer for free, because I have to eat and thus my focus is directed on other practical works, which in fact do not interest me too much so my motivation is very low and thus these other works would not be done too good either, while on the contrary I would be perfect on this Editing job. I am aware of my unique position, and willing to work really hard in the future on this my dream job. I know You are aware how hard a worker I truely am.
If this unpayed situation goes on any longer, and my food supplies are turning empty, and that is going to be soon, then I will turn into a Capitalist Selfish B ehm Individual - of which I have tryed to avoid becoming all my life - and thus I (and You) would simultaneously of course turn into The Brake-persons hindering The Solution to Save The Humanity by my opportunistic demands to eat, and Your delaying in paying me my salary which delay I do not understand at all, in fact. This would not be such a good thing to happen. Think of all the Humankind and how things have been going around here lately.
So this is why we are now looking for funding : to pay me a decent salary.
And I am not too cheap either at the moment anymore, because I already invested 3 years from my own glorious career launching by pursuing this Universal Humanity Salvation Cause - so for the information of all You numerous interested parties out there, here is the modest scale of the expenses You are to cover - my plan is the following : first pay me for my labour of past 3 years to prove You are The Unselfish One(s), then start funding monthly my working as The Editor of The Art Theory to Save The Humanity. Pay me unconditionally and with no questions asked, totally altruisticly as I also have acted altruisticly and unselfishly so far.
I can also accept that this project will be postponed. That of course means the end of the world as we know it, but hopefully somehow The Earth will be saved, fuck those humans who wants them anyway.
My part here is of course irreplaceable and invaluable, but as I am to eat also, I am turning this invaluable value to Euros and adapting it to a quite modest standard of living in humble Finland, I am not trying to get any shortcuts to extra luxorious advantages here, no - I am aiming at getting even with what I have laboured so far.
So I estimated my work so far being worth 3 years x 20.000 € after taxes, and I am expecting to get from now on a monthly salary of 2.000 € after taxes beginning immediately, plus all expenses covered concerning this work, and a brand new tiny cute little white car at my disposal all the time, all expences incl., so all this altogether would make my disposable income about 40.000 € yearly. (+ car)
Now is this too much to ask ?
Of course it is not too much to ask, I am being very moderate as always, and after all, remember that I am assisting in helping to Save The Humanity here ! This salary goes to a very good cause, not to any humbug trivia job.
So You Absolute Ideal Capitalist out there, I know You have been following my doings because I am The Unique Worker of The Universe - there is no such other worker around, and I have a fine project going on here - I just need someone to pay me for it. It could be You.
You will find my contact info on my site.
Looking forward to Your reply.
Thank You very much in advance,
and have a nice Second Sacred Solstice 2016 !
greetings from Tiina
PS. Second Sacred Solstice occurs on Wednesday 21.12.2016 at 12:44 Helsinki, so I will be waiting for Your answer pretty soon after that moment. oh yes and it is possible to support my work by buying my work - yes can you imagine ! I am a painter and I have paintings to sell !?! well this came to you as a total surprise
Here are some steady places where my works are available for purchase :
Salo Art Association's Art Rental Bizarre in Finland (opening 14 January 2017 )
Fine Art America
THE SALES EVENT OF FINNISH PAINTERS` UNION 11.3. – 19.3.2017
Pohjoisen pallonpuoliskon talvipäivänseisaus 2016
on keskiviikkona 21. joulukuuta klo 12.44
found a job - now seeking for salary payer
was originally written on Tuesday 20.12.2016 18:00 and published in A I R B O R N E
by © 2016 Tiina Hölli 21.12.2016 12:44 on Second Sacred Solstice
Being Nothing -
[ Conceptual ]
T i i n a H ö l l i
... says she
doesn't give a shit,
[ paskat nakkaa ]
but still thinks amazingly much about
and Being ...
... has some Knowledge
and / or vice versa.
[ Loves Immaterial ]
F . A . Q . : W T F
Tiina Hölli : - Lila -
Read Robert M. Pirsig
acrylic on board
19 x 130 cm
Other Categories :
If you want to hire me to do a job, that has been categorized " impossible " by all other people, please go to my Visitor's Book and leave me a brief abstract of your concern.
I'll see if you interest me.
Special skills and abilities:
I am a very discreet Diplomat.
You must understand, that nowadays it is quite hard to get me in speed with indifferent issues
[ = I don't give a shit ].
About my diary projects
and conceptual works :
It is about Being present.
I do immaterial acts and diary projects in a short, definite period of time, quickly. Several multiyear projects, also in large scale.
It's about Being here now.
I am present,
then I'm gone,
likewise my achievements.
it will vanish too.
WORKS FOR SALE :
establishing a structure
in a form of a play July - Nov 2017
17 7 17 - 17 11 17
Romantic Plan for Augie
( not published yet )
( not published yet )
Follow me shaping :
s h h h ... 17 7 17 - 17 11 17
© 2017 Tiina Hölli. All rights reserved.
Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tiina Hölli with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All images are protected by copyright law and may not be copied or reproduced without permission from the artist. All photographs presented here are the sole property of Tiina Hölli unless otherwise noted. Published works are protected under domestic and international copyright laws and are not concidered to be public domain. No photographs may be reproduced, copied, manipulated, or used whole or in part of a derivated work, without written permission. All rights reserved.